HOT NEWS: C-charge “No” campaign underwritten by secret organisation of bicycle retailers!

Desiring increased bicycle sales on the back of ever growing congestion, cycle retailers worked together in a secret plot to undermine a “yes” in Manchester’s C-charge referendum.

One underground activist had this to say:

“We will wait for the congestion to reach it’s peak, then we will deploy our secret weapon: It’s a light weight steel bicycle with a rack, panniers, puncture proof tires and hub gears. Perfect for commuting on. We have thousands ready to sell and more being manufactured each day. One day the public will be ready. They will be crying out and we will be their saviour. We are just biding our time”

Note to the reader: This story is entirely fabricated.

Manchester TIF Bid (Congestion Charge)

I’m disappointed (but not surprised) by the result of the public vote on the Greater Manchester Transport Innovation Fund proposal.

Ultimately I’m confident that as congestion continues to increase over time, the general public will come to understand the importance of a more efficient and sustainable transport system, they will place pressure upon the public and private sectors, and that the improvements for which we had hoped will eventually come into being.

In the meantime sustainable economic growth and the lives of many will remain stunted whilst I continue to beat the congestion using my humble bicycle.

Advice for bookmakers: Slash the odds on record cycle sales in Manchester for the next ten years.